Losing My Sister
by Bandit Novice
Summary: Kanon retells the story of losing her twin sister Anon to addiction, along with the pain and suffering she had afterward. Warnings: drug use, character death. One-shot


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot of the story**

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My name is Kanon I'm 18, Just like every story there is a happy ending. For me there is none, I couldn't believe that I lost my own twin at 16. We were so close but she fell short, probably from school and many other reasons. We grew up in a strict but caring family. My parents always compared her and I together; my younger brother Yohio would look up to us. I should say how I lost her but it was clear the entire time. Anon was an addicted to cocaine. She's usually shy while I was more outgoing. There have been times she was high but I just thought it was hormones.

The pain of losing her felt so terrible; it seemed to be my fault I was an overachiever. Anon had dreams of being a software designer but wasn't that athletic as I was. Mother would push my dreams on to her to the point Anon would always blame me for her failure. She has even gotten violent with me; it must have been when she was high. We would get into physical fights; she would sometimes steal money from me just to get cocaine. In class she wouldn't be focused. Home life was bad enough for her, there was one time where she wouldn't eat as much but would sleep for long hours at a time. In the middle of the night I would regret walking in on her. That was the day she overdosed; the mental scaring and pain took its toll on me. I couldn't accept the fact she died. Mother and father felt it was their fault Anon died.

 **Before her overdose**

She just didn't seem like herself but she was constantly vomiting at night and her eyes were sometimes dilated. Anon just wasn't herself. I could have done something to prevent it but we were Sophomores and Anon still wasn't used to the time change at all. We didn't move but we had to be up by 5 to catch the bus. School started at 7 a.m. but this might have been when she started using Cocaine. Anon was always an outcast in the system. My teachers don't remember her even though we were in the same class.

With her new friends, I began to notice how she never eats dinner with us anymore. She's been out partying with her new friends. I should mention the day of her overdose. My mother Emily and my father Al were sleeping. I was a light sleeper but would always hear Anon get up what I assumed was to use the bathroom. Soft clicks could be heard every night. My little brother Yohio was always asleep by 7 p.m. That night, I woke up hearing a loud thud that echoed the hallway. I was in my camisole and black shorts but I knew something was wrong. Waking up grabing my flashlight of my phone I find the door locked.

"Anon open up!"

"Anon!"

I try to open the door and try to listen for her movement. I shout out for mother and father to help me get the door open. Once they were up they try asking Anon if she was okay. Dad broke the latch to get to her. I gave mother my cell phone and Anon was on the ground staring blankly at the sink. A needle was in her shoulder, white powdery substance in a baggie. The white and purple lighter which might have been what I have been hearing the entire time. Father gets the needle off her shoulder and has me put it into a baggie so we could give it to the paramedics.

"Anon!" I say shaking her.

Suddenly Anon looks up and punches me in the face. Wincing in pain my father restrains her; I grab the lighter and put it on the medicine cabinet. Mom was calling the ambulance. They weren't far but we were told to keep Anon calm. I grab what she had in case we needed it.

"Anon look at me! It's me dad!" My father shouts.

Anon looks at him and tries but tears fall from her pale green eyes. She was clearly afraid, I feel her forehead and it was burning up. Yohio must have woken up but I tell him to get ready because we might have to leave soon. We began to hear sirens and dad picks her up and I carry Yohio who was too young to understand. The paramedics put Anon on the stretcher and hook her up to life support. They give her some oxygen and do some quick vitals until we got to the hospital.

 **Hospital**

The paramedics get out and we follow them. I was still had my hand on my eye trying to follow as fast as I could. A doctor took us to another room to speak about what happened. I surrender the backpack so they could do testing to see what she using. We spoke for a bit but I remember the doctor saying that she was a in critical condition. The fear was immense, my parents might end up losing their daughter to addiction and I would be the only one left.

However the doctor asked me what was wrong because I my hand was covering my eye. I explained to him that Anon punched me before we got here. He examines my eye for a bit and grabs an icepack from a drawer and tells me to put pressure on it. He leads us to Anon's room. They changed her to a blue hospital gown. They had to cool down her fever and try to sedate her so they get some of the treatment done. We've been here for at least 2 hours. Many doctors came and went checking on Anon but she was still struggling to stay alive. Yohio asked us if Anon was okay but I told him that we didn't know yet. Father rubbed Anon's short dirty blonde hair, she was sleeping but moved when she felt my father touched. The doctor comes in with bad news.

"I'm sorry Anon might not recover because she tested positive cocaine and she could have potentially overdosed herself. I'm sorry." the doctor said solemnly.

The doctor left and I spoke to her a bit but she was groaning. Her oxygen mask fogged up as she tried moving and breathing hard. She then wakes up suddenly gasping for air. I remember father asking her if she okay but she couldn't speak nor understand what we were saying. She started coughing and when my father touched her shoulder she immediately slapped him. I tried hugging and tried calming her down. Nothing worked, my mother and father immediately took Yohio out of the room and closed the curtain.

"Anon please it's me Kanon. Your twin sister." I cried.

Anon didn't listen but I rubbed her shoulder whispering to her silently. She didn't have to do this; I could have stopped this. Suddenly she hugged me back remembering who I was.

"Kanon...I'm...sorry." Anon said without emotion.

I held on to her for a while. Her monitor started getting into normal rhythm. Mother walked in and tried to speak to Anon. Anon ignored her including our father. Yohio kept quiet. She eventually died from overdose of cocaine. Father alerted the doctors when she fell asleep and never woke up. I tried waking her up but Yohio was mentally scarred after it.

 **Funeral**

It's been a rough year. Losing my sister to addiction is the worst but her being your twin makes it hurt even more. I never left our room for a while. I missed the last week of school. It didn't matter anyway but everyone was sorry to hear that Anon died from addiction. The pain was so much for me; Yohio asked me what was wrong but I told him to leave me alone. I wasn't in the mood to be talking to anyone. Mother and father understood but I just wanted to be left alone. The day of her funeral hurt the most. She was buried in a cemetery and her cause of death was overdose. We were all wearing black. I had on my black dress and we met at the chapel were everyone spoke about her. I was called and have to give my eulogy. It was painful but I stayed calm.

At the cemetery I stayed a little longer but I had my car which I drove alone. The strain it had put on our family. If only Anon knew we cared about her. This could

have been prevented.

I look around and see a young girl with her parents. She looked just like Anon, but I drive back home. It felt empty without Anon. She used to sit in the passenger seat next to me. Without her it felt lonely. It was all my fault for not catching onto her symptoms earlier. I was frequently in denial accepting that Anon died. I walked back in and everyone was talking. But I walked to the backyard and sat on the last step. Anon and I grew up together there. I felt a touch on my shoulder; at first I thought it was Anon but it was my uncle. He noticed how I'm not as active as I used to. He's worried because I'm taking Anon's death too hard. I really didn't know what to do but he told me how I used to be the weaker one when I was little. Anon used to keep me calm but as we both got older I was the stronger one.

 **Present day**

As the years went on I managed to move on but my parents got me a psychologist so I could open up about my feelings as well as go to a support group. Addiction can be tricky one minute they seem fine until you realized they overdosed. I was afraid of losing my sister. Yohio barely remembered Anon he was only 4 when she died. I graduated without her. In college my roommates have been very cool having me around. But they always asked me why I seemed down every time they mention the girl in the picture. I avoided drugs and alcohol after what happened to Anon.

My group and I spent the weekends at the mall and driving around campus. It was a happy ending for me and I eventually met an exchange student named Len who told me how he lost his twin sister to overdose as well but on a different substance. We started dating but we had felt the same pain of losing our own twin. We stayed by each other's side. We had a lot of classes together and we helped each other out on subjects we struggled in.

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 **Author notes:**

 **So I know Anon's character item is bread but I could see a little connection becuase she's 18 and looks like she's more shy while her twin was more outgoing. Ranting** **aside I wrote this becuase it speaks of a very serious issue that was hidden but Kanon didn't catch on until it was too late. I was inspired by Unknowndomain-p's head cannon. They said how sometimes looks, popularity, and voicebank can be used to depict certain vocaloids. From Luka having severe anxiety and being weak behind the camera to Meiko having the need to run away from her problems by moving out of Japan. Addiction can change who you really are inside. Anon could have been making millions of dollars each year and give a shelter dog a second chance.**

 **Len's twin is Rin but he was a minor character to lighten up the story a bit for Kanon and give it a slightly happy ending.**

 **Also Anon and Kanon's mother Emily is not an OC but an actual Utau.**

 **In truth I wrote this a while back and was a little nervous posting this but the message is too important to ignore.**


End file.
